Another Gross Map


The GM’s map from “A Case Of Consumption” by David Noonan for the Shadow Of The Demon Lord RPG.  Gross y’all. Gross.  water color / archival ink / sepia ink / marker on parchment paper.

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Ed Greenwood / 2015 Commissions

i illustrated maps for someone i consider legendary.

Eventually I will get into how 2015 was and what I will be doing in 2016, but first I would like to talk about some maps I illustrated for an adventure written by his majesty Mr. Ed Greenwood.  What that means is my main man Schwalberto, as part of his kickstarter campaign, decided to throw some number of heavy pennies per word at Greenwood to write an adventure for the Shadow of the Demon Lord game.  My understanding is that Greenwood once licked Schwalb at some convention and now they are effectively blood brothers or something.

Before I get into the adventure and show off some maps, I’d like to talk about the Forgotten Realms.  The realms are a terrible place to game these days; your characters are likely to just occupy space in the area and not actually have any effect on the world.  This isn’t really Greenwood’s fault so much as the realms have been such an important place at the table top since the early 80s that everything has been done.  It is hard to feel like you’re in the world because the realms have been beaten to death, boiled like tapioca pearls to rehydrate, and then beaten again.  I know that there isn’t a whole lot of love for the realms in the OSR world because it is too much, there is little left to the imagination.  I don’t want to play in the realms because I want to play in uncharted territory (Greenwood if you read this, its me its not you).  That being said, I love a few Forgotten Realms things: the infinity engine games, Neverwinter Nights, the Avatar trilogy of books, and Calimshan.  As Greenwood is responsible for inspiring these arts & crafts, I tip my hat to him.  It was a cool thing I got to do, make these maps.  Here is a room down sampled to look like shit on your screen, and watermarked.
© 2016 Schwalb Entertainment, LLC

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Free Map: Down the Dreadhole

First and foremost, here is a free map for you to toss your players in and watch them die; it is the Dreadhole.  We all hear of the shortbeards digging too deep, but how deep is too deep?  What is down there?  I don’t know, maybe you do.  I wanted to scratch more into this one, adding more scaffolding and detail but some new paid commissions have dropped into my lap and I am increasingly paying real live bills with those.  And I lost a couple of days of work time due to halloween.  So here it is:

clicking this will take you to the damn thing in google drive, cause it is too big for wordpress. like prom night.
clicking this will take you to the damn thing in google drive, cause it is too big for wordpress. like prom night.

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Stock This Map Yourself – The Ballroom Under The Quiet Pond


It is by some fucked miracle that I found the time to draw this, ink it, scan it, and turn it into some kind of downloadable thing.  Click the image to get a PDF with a bit more information. Are you going to stock it, key it, and use it? Let me know because I would love to see what you do with it.

Exquisite Corpse Dungeon, etc

exquisitelycecilThis was my entry to for the April 2015 Exquisite Corpse dungeon.  If you are not familiar with an exquisite corpse, it is a sort of parlor drawing game where one sheet of paper is folded three ways and three separate people draw a body on the folds without seeing the drawing before them.  As in, one person draws the top most portion of the body, folds her portion so only the bottomest lines show, the next person draws a portion of the body, and folds it so only his bottomest lines show, and the third person draws the bottomest part of the body seeing only the bottomest lines of the portion preceding his section.  Rodger Thorm put this thing together and it came out really cool.  At the end of the month a total of 12 folks had contributed to the thing.  You can download it here, in all the three feet long glory it entails.  Thanks Rodger, Dyson, David, Kevin, Billy, Scott, Scott, Nate, Nate, Jens, and Paul.  Rodger’s unveiling of the map can be read about here.Continue Reading

Ubiquitous Space Movie Trap Joke / DEATH EVENTS


This is a trap.  This is a trap that will likely kill someone first try.  Mechanically, it should be rather obvious, but just in case: this platform appears as if the rest of the floor, but not quite.  A sword is stabbed into this dubiously innocuous floor, and it is shining in the torchlight.  Quiet magic may be involved or maybe just physics, but the sword has stapled the platform (precariously) to the very tip   If the sword is removed the platform will teeter towards whichever side is heaviest, dumping the slow to react or very heavy into something terrible.  Maybe the platform is weighed in such a manner that it will right itself after much teetering.  The sword is only worth 5gp, and is made of cheap brass.

In fantasyland role playing games there is not often a meaning in death and those deaths are frequent and maybe that is why they have no meaning.  The meaning doesn’t have to be deep, but something interesting has room to happen there.  Jessup the Strong Fighter rolls all ones and is suddenly taking a dirt nap, and while a new character is being rolled all of Jessup’s compatriots are bickering about who gets her shit.  Through her death, something weird is happening.Continue Reading

Unkeyed Dungeon: Some Kind Of Cthulhoid, Calcified Rectal Cavity

Verily, this would be some knave’s lair if’n it weren’t just so damn rectal.  I have been very sick with a terribleness these few days and I have gotten nothing done.  This was an old map that I thought looked too much like a digestive tract and sphincter for me to be happy with, but I really can’t let this blog sit dormant in such infancy.  So here it is, for your under-the-earth campaigns and locales; a cave with massive abyss included.

An Unkeyed Dungeon Where There Are Probably Dead Guys



This is most likely a mausoleum of some sort.  It has some overlap with a natural cave system where I imagine there are no bats, but piles of bones from when the crypt fills up.  The little boxes with “c” in them are coffins, and I think the rest is pretty much industry standard.  This is a filler post.  I am sick.

An Unkeyed Dungeon with a Secret

Imagine if-in the last days of your life were spent digging a tunnel.  Down there each bone pile is a mile marker of sorts, telling us how far a man got in his earth-toilin’ before he keeled over from want of food.  A drunkardly group-full of thieves, murderers, and scoundrels died in that dirt hallway thinkin’ they’d be free on the next spoon stroke.  They’re probably spittin’ in their graves, knowin’ all they did was set the next man through closer to freedom.  Leave somethin’ down there, a gift of thanks to those hopelessly dead, lest you be cursed by their cryin’ mothers.

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